


Many Meetings

by CatFirebrand



Series: Miles To Go [1]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-30
Updated: 2014-04-22
Packaged: 2018-01-17 12:58:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 19,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1388512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatFirebrand/pseuds/CatFirebrand
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Saving the galaxy is all well and fine, but Shepard never intended to fall in love. A snapshot of Shepard & Liara's romance arc through ME1.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Shepard dropped the last last geth drone with her shotgun, and did a quick sweep, just to make sure.

“I think that’s the last of them, Commander.” 

She glanced back at Tali, and nodded. “Stay sharp.”

Wrex cocked his shotgun and grinned, following her into the elevator. It groaned, but started up.

“Anyone else feel like this whole place is just waiting to fall down around us?” Shepard scanned the outside of the service lift, and hoped she hadn’t just jinxed them. The metal box shuddered, sparks flying, and then ground to a halt.

“You just had to ask, didn’t you, Shepard?”

“You were thinking it too, Wrex. Don’t even tell me you weren’t.” She pried the door open, and looked down. The platforms below looked like they’d already partially collapsed, but were sturdy enough for the moment. _Gonna have to do._ “Guess we’re jumping. Tali, make sure you go before Wrex.”

Tali glanced at the krogan, who just smiled. “Uh, sure thing, Commander.”

Shepard tried not to laugh, and jumped down. The platform held. “We’re good. Come on.”

“Uh, hello? Could somebody help me? Please?”

Shepard landed on the base platform, and turned to the right, where the voice had come from. It had sounded distorted, and when she looked, she understood why. In the center hung the speaker, an asari, suspended in some kind of kinetic bubble barrier, behind a second barrier that sealed the room.

She slowly walked forward, looking for any sign of a way to lower it, and finding none.

“Can you hear me out there? I am trapped, I need help!”

 _I really shouldn’t find her distress so amusing, but…_ Shepard struggled not to smirk. “Dr. T’Soni? Are you okay? What happened to you?”

The asari seemed torn between relief and panic. “Listen. This thing I am in is a Prothean security device. I cannot move, so, I need you to get me out of it, alright?”

 _I really want to know how she got herself trapped like that. And I really should stop thinking it’s so funny, but damn._ She schooled her features again. “We just need to figure some way past this energy field.”

“It’s a Prothean barrier curtain. I knew it would keep me safe from the geth. When I turned it on, I must have hit something I wasn’t supposed to. I was trapped in here. You must get me out, please!”

“Just stay calm.” _Oh god, this really is funny. It isn’t, but it really, really is. Straight face, Shepard. You can’t laugh at her. Poor thing._ “We’ll find some way to help you.”

“There is a control in here that should deactivate this thing. But you’ll have to find some way past the barrier curtain. That’s the tricky part. The defenses cannot be shut off from the outside. I don’t know how you’ll get in here.”

Shepard smirked. She couldn’t help it. But then the trapped asari glanced behind her, at Wrex and Tali.

“Be careful. There was a krogan with the geth. They have been trying different ways to get past the barrier.”

“Thanks. Just hang tight, we’ll figure out something.” _Hang tight? You are a horrible woman, Kylie Shepard._ She turned away just as her face crumpled, and had to bite her lip to keep herself from bursting out laughing.

Unfortunately, Tali was on the same wavelength. “Keelah. I can’t believe she triggered some kind of Prothean booby trap.”

Shepard covered her mouth quickly, before more than the smallest laugh could escape. She glanced back at the trapped doctor. “I know!”

A rocket shot past them, aimed for the barrier curtain, and Shepard immediately sobered. 

“Shit! Wrex, find that damned rocket trooper, and shove one up his ass.”

“With pleasure.”

For a few frenzied moments, the only sound was gunfire. Wrex and Tali jumped forward with shotguns, while Shepard pulled out her rifle, taking care of the sniper hiding in the back of the cave. When the last one fell, silence descended on them again.

“Hey, Shepard.” She turned to look at Wrex, sliding her sniper rifle onto her back. The krogan grinned. “Think this might do the trick?”

She stepped forward, and eyed the machine he was patting.

_A mining laser._

“Wrex, I like the way you think. Fire it up.”

“Uh, Shepard, don’t you think—” Whatever Tali had meant to say, it was swallowed up as the laser fired, in a thundering blast that shook the cavern.

“Nice.” The krogan grinned.

Shepard shook her head. “Come on.”

The laser had excavated the empty room below where the asari doctor was trapped, and Shepard was pleased to see what looked like an elevator behind it. She activated the lift, and soon they found themselves behind the barrier curtain, and the asari.

“Oh…” She sounded almost…breathless. _Stop that. She’s probably exhausted._ “How did you get in here? I didn’t think there was any way past the barrier.”

Shepard grinned. “Superior firepower.” The doctor gave her a confused look. “There was a mining laser, we used it to blast through to the room below. Come on, we need to get you out of here before more geth arrive.”

 

Liara couldn’t believe it. She’d almost given up hope of being rescued, and now this human, with her fascinating red hair, and laughing green eyes, was making jokes. But then the woman’s face sobered, going from humor to concern as she voiced the need to get her out of her prison.

“Yes, you’re right. I’ve seen enough of them to last a lifetime. That button should shut down my containment field.”

The human took a step forward, but was stopped by her quarian companion.

“Commander… Are you sure we can trust her? I mean, her mother’s working for Saren.”

Liara felt a rush of rage. _How dare they?_ “I am _not_ my mother.” She hadn’t seen or spoken with Benezia in years, but even she’d heard the rumors. The great Matriarch, taken in by the rogue Spectre. _So unlike her._ “I don’t even… I don’t know why Benezia joined Saren. I don’t want anything to do with that turian bastard!”

The human commander seemed nonplussed by it all. “If she was with Saren, the geth wouldn’t be trying to kill her.”

Liara breathed a sigh of relief when the woman walked over to the control panel, and tapped in the release sequence.

And then she fell.

“Easy, there.”

She hadn’t even seen the commander move, but somehow, she’d managed to catch her. Liara froze, trying not to think about the strong arms that helped her to her feet. _Goddess, what is wrong with me? I must have been in there too long…_

“You okay?”

Liara turned on shaky feet, and found herself caught in a sea of green. “I…”

“Any idea how we get out of this place?”

She blinked as the commander turned away, grateful for the quarian’s interruption. “There is an elevator back in the center of the tower. At least, I think it’s an elevator. It should take us out of here.”

They moved together to the elevator. Liara could feel the human glance at her, saw, out of the corner of her eye, how her hand reached out to help her, but then retracted. She wasn’t sure if she was grateful, or disappointed.

 _Stop it, Liara._ “I—I still don’t believe all this. Why would the geth come after me? Do you think Benezia’s involved?” She forced herself to look at the commander, who stopped in front of the elevator controls. 

But it was the quarian, again, who answered. “Saren’s looking for the Conduit. You’re a Prothean expert. He probably wants you to help him find it.”

“The Conduit?” Liara felt completely confused. “But, I don’t know—”

All of them glanced up as the cavern shook, and a deep rumbling sounded.

The krogan looked sideways at the human. “What the hell was that?”

 _Goddess._ “These ruins are not stable. That mining laser must have triggered a seismic event. We have to hurry. The whole place is caving in.” She brushed past the commander, activating the elevator. But the human didn’t move, and Liara felt herself blush as her arm grazed the other’s armor.

 

The elevator lurched upwards, shaking almost as much as the cavern. Shepard forced herself away from the asari and activated her com, radioing Joker for pickup. Wrex grumbled something about not dying here, but Shepard was too busy staring at the doctor.

The elevator shuddered again, and ground to a halt, just as a krogan lumbered into view, followed by several geth.

_Shit. Head in the game, Kylie. You don’t even like girls, so what the hell is your problem?_

Wrex growled.

The other krogan smiled. “Surrender. Or don’t. That would be more fun.”

Shepard gripped her shotgun. “We don’t have time to deal with this idiot!” Her fist glowed blue as the shotgun whipped around, and the krogan smiled again.

“Heh. I like your attitude.”

 

Liara gasped as the commander boosted all five of her opponents off the ground, suspending them in a biotic lift. _She’s a biotic. Goddess…_

She’d thrown up her own barrier, too exhausted to do more, but it almost seemed needless. The gunfire exchange was over in seconds, and then the commander was there, offering her hand, and lifting her off the ground as the cavern shook again. “Come on. Let’s move!”

They all ran, as the barrier over the entrance collapsed. The ceiling beyond fell in chunks, toppling the scaffold platforms. Liara stumbled, but the commander was there, again, picking her up, urging her on. 

“Let’s go, people! Move, move, move!”

Somehow, Liara found the energy. And when she fell a second time, the commander’s hands picked her up and pushed her on again, supporting her up the last steps, and through the crumbling entrance.

When they made it out, all in one piece, she wanted nothing more than to collapse on the walkway.

Until she hear the sound of laughter.

Liara glanced behind her, only to find the human woman laughing. She was literally doubled over, laughing in great gasps. And then she stood up, both hands in the air, and let out a _wooooooooo!_

_She’s insane._

The commander saw her looking, and winked. _Winked. Goddess._ “Gotta celebrate even the small victories. Especially when it means you made it out alive.”

Liara didn’t know what to say to that. But maybe she had a point.


	2. Chapter 2

Liara collapsed on the cot in the small office Dr. Chakwas had offered her. Shepard had actually touched a real, working Prothean beacon.

_Goddess._

She’d seen the evidence in the human’s mind, and she still didn’t quite believe it.

_How did she survive the experience?_ Even Liara could tell the vision was incomplete, that the beacon had been damaged. It should have killed her, would have killed someone weaker.

But not Shepard.

Liara stared at the ceiling with amazement. _Not Shepard._

She’d even stood up to her crew when they’d questioned Liara’s motives, trusted her without a thought. Of course, most of the crew didn’t seem to mind her. The quarian, Tali, had been kind, as had the turian, Garrus. And the krogan, Wrex, didn’t seem to care about much. But the other humans, Chief Williams, and Lieutenant Alenko, had seemed almost hostile.

But not Shepard.

Liara suddenly wanted nothing more than to prove herself worthy of the commander’s trust. She sat back up, and hurried over to her terminal. But no sooner had she sat down, then the door opened with a _whoosh_ , and there stood the woman herself.

Liara scrambled nervously to her feet.

“Feeling better?”

_She came to check up on me?_ “I…yes, thank you, Commander.”

The human woman smiled, and Liara suddenly felt short of breath. “You’re not military, you don’t have to call me by my rank. Just call me Shepard. Or Kylie, even.”

“I…” _Goddess, what is wrong with me?_ “Thank you. Shepard.”

Again, Shepard’s mouth twitched up in a smile, but more words tumbled out of Liara before the commander could speak. 

“I never got to thank you properly for rescuing me from the geth. And for trusting me. I know your crew doesn’t, I see the way they look at me, but I am not my mother. I don’t know why Benezia has joined Saren, but I am not like her.”

Shepard held up her hands and laughed. “It’s okay, Liara. I trust you. And my crew will learn to. Tell me about yourself.”

Liara panicked. She found herself talking without thinking, about being an archeologist, about her mother, about everything, and she couldn’t stop herself. Something about Shepard just made it too easy to talk. Even after she accidentally told her she wanted to study her, Shepard took it in stride, laughed, and expertly continued the conversation.

By the time she left, Liara felt like she’d talked more in one sitting with the human woman than she had since University.

 

Shepard walked out of the medbay feeling slightly dazed. She hadn’t expected to have such a long and varied conversation with her new asari crewmember, but there was something about Liara that drew her in. She wanted to know everything.

_And the way she got so flustered…_

Shepard smiled and shook her head, but immediately sobered when she glanced up, and saw Lieutenant Alenko staring, his brow furrowed, as though he disapproved.

She sighed, and headed for the stairs.

Kaiden had already implied he was interested, more than once. And if the look on his face was any indication, he’d just decided Liara was competition. 

_Which is ridiculous. Because even if he had a chance, which he doesn’t, I’m not into girls. And asari are basically girls._

Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose, and turned towards the CIC. _I’m just going to have to avoid them both._

_I so don’t need this._


	3. Chapter 3

Avoidance, it turned out, was not Shepard’s strong suit. 

She felt herself repeatedly pulled back to the asari doctor’s quarters, happy to just sit and talk whenever she had a spare moment. It was ridiculous, really, but every time she’d tell herself to stay away, she’d invariably find herself standing in Dr. Chakwas’ lab, staring at Liara’s door, while the human doctor smiled behind her. 

It didn’t help that Liara always seemed happy to see her, even if their conversations often ended with the asari feeling embarrassed by something one of them had said. The archeologist was adorable when she was flustered, which invariably made Shepard smile. _Grin like an idiot, more like._ She watched with amusement as Liara backpedaled again. _You’re going to give her the wrong impression._

“Liara, it’s fine. I was just teasing.” 

“Oh, Goddess, I…” 

Shepard felt her stomach flip-flop as the asari blushed, her blue skin shading purple. _But is it the wrong impression?_

She stood abruptly, startled at her own thought. “I should go.” 

“Shepard, I…” 

She stopped at the sudden panic in Liara’s voice. 

“I’m so sorry. I know so little about humans, and I always seem to say the wrong thing around you. I don’t want to offend you—” 

“You didn’t offend me, Liara. You never do.” She didn’t realize she’d reached out until her hand caressed the asari doctor’s arm. Shepard pulled away a little too fast, trying desperately to control the rush of heat to her face.

 

Liara stared speechless at the door to her room for several minutes after the commander’s abrupt departure. Her skin tingled where Shepard had touched her, and a ridiculous smile slowly dragged her lips upward. 

_Goddess._

_Is it possible?_

Not for the first time, Liara wished she was better at making friends. If she’d had more experience, maybe she wouldn’t be sitting here guessing at whether she was reading the signals right. 

_You’re being ridiculous, Liara T’Soni. What could a woman like that possibly see in you?_

She shook her head, trying to push thoughts of Shepard out. But the commander’s behavior, how she was always coming to talk… 

_She talks to all her crew. And she smiles at them all. She’s a brave, remarkable woman, who cares deeply for the people under her command. That’s all._

Her internal lecture didn’t stop her from bringing up the extranet and searching human sexual practices. 

 

“So. Commander. The Consort, huh?” 

Shepard glared at her pilot. “Do you even know the meaning of the word _confidential_ , Joker?” 

“Sure I do. I also know a good story when I hear it.” 

Shepard rolled her eyes and gave him her best command glare. “She requested my help with something the next time we were at the Citadel. And from what I understand, she’s a good friend to have. I could use a few good friends, with all this. So keep a lid on it, Joker.” 

“Yes, ma’am.” 

“Good.” She turned to her XO. “Pressley, give all non-essential crew leave until tomorrow morning, 0700 Citadel time. Coordinate with Alenko, he’s got the rota. Make sure we get resupplied, and that the mess is properly stocked with _decent_ dextro this time, not the crap rations they grabbed last time. Oh, and there should be a shipment of cold gear that I put in for, make sure we get it. I want to be prepared for anything when we hit Noveria.” 

“Aye, Commander.” 

Shepard stopped and put a hand on the older man’s shoulder. “Thanks, Pressley.” 

The Navigator gave her a brusque nod and a brief smile, which she returned before leaving. He’d had a difficult time adjusting to all the non-humans she’d brought on board, but he’d also done an admirable job keeping it to himself, and his opinion seemed to be turning around. _Good man, that one._

Shepard left the bridge as Joker began docking protocols, her mind wandering. She’d been surprised to receive the communication from the Consort, and flattered. It wasn’t everyday that someone like Sha’ira asked for help, and it felt a little like kismet. Maybe the Consort could help her, too.

 

Liara fidgeted. She hadn’t been to the Citadel since she was a small child. She’d planned to spend the short leave staying aboard the _Normandy_ , but then Tali had begged her to come shopping, and Liara hadn’t been able to say no. 

It was, after all, nice to be asked. 

“Pleeeeease, Chief Williams?” 

Liara couldn’t help smiling at the way the young quarian wheedled, trying to convince the dark haired chief to come with them. 

Apparently Williams couldn’t help it, either. “I want to, Tali. It would be really nice to just have some girl time. But Garrus promised to show me this one gun vendor…” 

Tali gave an overdramatic sigh. “Fiiiine. At least meet us for lunch after?” 

“Deal. Comm me when you go. And seriously Tali, just call me Ash. You too, Doctor.” 

Liara smiled. “Then you must call me Liara.” She wasn’t sure when the woman had begun to mellow, or why, but she’d been distinctly more friendly the last few days. Whatever the reason, Liara was glad. The Chief— _Ash_ , she reminded herself—turned to meet Garrus just as Liara looked up to see the commander walk past them all. 

_Shepard._

She was dressed in her usual shipboard clothes, plus a short jacket that accented her lanky curves, and didn’t hide the pistol on her hip or the rifle on her back. Tali raised her hand to catch Shepard’s attention, but she passed them all without looking, a determined expression covering what Liara had begun to recognize as the commander’s ‘lost in thought’ face. 

She had no idea where the commander was headed, or why she was going armed but alone, but Liara suddenly wished she knew. 

“Commander!” 

Lieutenant Alenko ran past them all, stopping Shepard at the airlock. Shepard turned back, but as the lieutenant spoke, her face went from passive to closed. 

Liara strained to hear. 

“…shouldn’t be going alone…know about…Consort…?” 

_Consort? Does he mean Sha’ira?_

Shepard’s expression grew harder, but she said nothing until Alenko finished. Liara couldn’t make out anything she said, but she still shivered. She could feel the commanding presence from here, and see Alenko’s shoulders fall. 

Alenko saluted stiffly as the commander finished and walked away. When he turned, his eyes fell on Liara, and for half a moment, she felt his anger stab at her. 

And Liara understood. 

_He’s in love with her._

_And he thinks I’m a rival._

She wasn’t really sure what to think about that.

 

“So neither of them should be a problem anymore, Consort.” 

The asari consort smiled. “Yes, I just received a lovely note from Septimus. Thank you for speaking to him, and to the elcor diplomat.” 

Shepard dipped her head. “It was my honor to aid you.” 

Sha’ira smiled again, then waved her to a seat. “You are too kind, Commander. But I would not expect you to help me out of the goodness of your heart.” The Consort passed Shepard a cup of tea, which she gladly took. “I offer a gift of words. An affirmation of who you are, who you will become.” 

Shepard nodded. “Again, I’m honored.” 

The asari looked at her for a long moment before speaking again. “I see your skin, tough as the scales of any turian. Unyielding. A wall between you and everyone else. But it protects you, makes you strong.” 

Shepard looked away. _That’s certainly true._ After Akuze, she’d built walls to block out the memories, to block out people. She’d gotten better over the years, but she didn’t let people in. No relationships, at least not that lasted long. It was easier. 

_And lonelier._

“You never hide your strength, either. It serves you well. Terrifies your foes. Few will dare to stand against you.” 

_Again, true._ She’d made a career of putting her strength forward. 

“This may be who you are, but it is not who you will become. It only forms the basis for your future greatness. Remember these words when doubt descends, Commander.” 

Shepard fidgeted with her teacup, and finally set it down. “Thank you, Consort. I am blessed and humbled by your words.” 

Sha’ira cocked her head to the side, her piercing eyes examining Shepard, and smiled slightly. “There is something that troubles you, Commander. What is it you wish to ask?” 

Shepard took a breath, and pushed to her feet, beginning to pace the room. It was ridiculous. She felt like a nervous teenager. 

Sha’ira only waited, patiently. 

“It’s…” She ran a hand through her hair. “There’s an asari archeologist I picked up as a new addition to my crew. She’s young, and quiet, but she gets so excited when you start talking about anything Prothean or scientific, and she’s so much stronger and braver than she thinks she is…” 

Shepard broke off, embarrassed by the rush of words, but the Consort smiled. 

“And you find yourself developing feelings for her?” 

“Yes. No. Fuck it, I… Yes.” It was pointless to deny it, after that. 

“Are you concerned it will affect your command?” 

Shepard sat again. “Oddly enough, no. It’s more that, well…” She felt her face heat. “I know the whole gender thing doesn’t mean anything to asari, but, well, you’re basically women. Physiologically.” 

Sha’ira smiled, understanding. “And you prefer men.” 

Shepard sighed. “Yeah.” 

“Does it bother you?” 

She opened her mouth to answer, but stopped and smiled. “No, actually. But I don’t really know how to… How to approach it.” 

Sha’ira smiled and leaned forward, touching her fingers to Shepard’s jaw. “Close your eyes and relax, Commander.” 

Shepard closed her eyes and relaxed, even as the asari’s eyes grew darker. She felt the Consort’s presence in her mind, and then image after image poured into her. The commander gasped. 

_breasts pushed together fingertips rolling nipples soft lips parting tongues thrusting and caressing hands touching trailing gripping teeth tongues licking tasting sucking pulling fingers stroking pushing thrusting rubbing curling heat sweat the tang of cum sweetness on the tongue rising spiraling pleasure_

Shepard’s breath came faster as arousal pooled between her legs. _“Fucking God.”_

_“Let me show you, Commander.”_

She felt fingers pulling at her clothes, soft lips on hers. 

_“Yes.”_


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was actually supposed to be part of the last chapter, and my cut/paste only got about half way. Oops.

Liara smiled as she signed over the credits for her purchases, and arranged for delivery to _Normandy_. It had been a long time since she’d had reason to wear anything but the lab jumpsuits adopted by most scientists in Council space. Buying new clothes actually felt good. 

“Tali, thank you.” 

The young quarian looked up from the omni-tool upgrade she was perusing. “What for?” 

“For dragging me out here and shopping with me. I had planned to stay aboard the ship, but I’m glad I didn’t.” 

Tali laughed. “I’m the one who should be thanking you.” She paid for her upgrade and the two of them headed out into the main walks of the Presidium. “A quarian by themselves usually gets hassled for vagrancy. You lend me an air of respectability.” 

Liara shook her head. She wanted to dispute the words, but she’d seen the looks they’d gotten. “I am sorry, Tali. It is ridiculous.” 

Tali shrugged. “It is. But that doesn’t change it. Let’s comm Ash and see if she’s ready to meet for lunch. All this shopping has left me starving.” She reached for her omni-tool, then stopped. “Wait, isn’t that Shepard?” 

Liara looked where Tali pointed. Sure enough, it was the commander, just stepping out of a suite. As Tali pulled them forward, Shepard pulled her red hair out of the knot it was always in, and shook it out, before pulling it back again into a ponytail. 

Liara’s heart fluttered. 

_Stop it._

“Shepard!” 

The commander looked up, grinning when she saw them. Liara’s lips turned up, then faltered as the got close enough to see which suite it was Shepard had just stepped out of. 

_Consort Sha’ira._

Her scientist’s mind quickly and efficiently catalogued the minute differences. Flushed skin. Disheveled hair that had needed to be fixed. Clothes that weren’t as neat as Shepard usually kept herself. The almost unnoticeable red mark just above the collar of her shirt. 

And of course, the slight pheromone shift. 

_Get over yourself, Liara. Just say it. She smells like sex. Not that you’d know._

All of it added to an odd sensation Liara had never felt before, a heaviness in the pit of her stomach, a sense of something that felt vaguely…possessive. 

_Jealousy_ , she realized. _Shepard had an intimate exchange with the Consort, and I’m jealous._

_Oh, Goddess._

Shepard’s eyes flashed a silent question, and Liara forced herself to smile over the sick feeling, while Tali described their afternoon. 

“We were about to call Ash and see if she was up for lunch. You should join us, Shepard!” 

The commander smiled, but she didn’t stop looking at Liara. “I’d like that, actually. I finished the errands I was doing.” 

Liara felt a surge of guilt cover her jealousy. Shepard was a hard working, dedicated woman. And appointments to see the Consort weren’t something that came easily or quickly. Who was she to deny the commander a session? 

“Ooo, your super-secret mission to help the Consort?” Tali seemed oblivious to the facts, which suited Liara just fine. 

“I see Joker couldn’t keep his mouth shut.” 

Tali laughed “He didn’t actually tell me more than that.” 

Shepard shrugged. She still hadn’t stopped looking at Liara. “She needed help with a private matter. One of her clients feeling like he should be entitled to more than was realistic. It wasn’t huge, but I knew Joker would turn it into something it wasn’t.” 

“You mean he’d turn it into a porno. Please, Commander, I’ve seen his extranet history.” Tali’s omni-tool chirped, distracting them all. “Oh, hey, it’s Ash.” 

_“Hey Tali, you guys gone for food yet?”_

“No, we were just about to call, but we ran into Shepard. Where are you?” 

_“Down in the wards. Garrus is going for a drink with an old C-Sec buddy, so I'm free.”_

“Perfect. There’s this little restaurant near Flux…” 

Liara looked away as Tali worked out the details, and found Shepard looking at her, still. She blushed, and the commander smiled. 

“Did you have fun shopping?” 

It took her a moment to find her voice. “I, yes. It will be nice to have something more than the few lab suits to wear. I had to abandon most of my things on Therum.” 

Concern flashed over Shepard’s face. “Why didn’t you say something? We could’ve taken care of it.” 

Liara looked away, feeling flustered. She didn’t understand how Shepard could be so caring of everyone, and wished it was more than just her being a good commander. “It was not a problem, merely an inconvenience. Doctor Chakwas helped me get the few things I needed.” 

“Liara, it is more than an inconvenience. If I can buy weapons, armor, and gear for all of you, I could’ve swung a few things of everyday clothes. Next time you need something, I expect you to tell me.” 

“Of course, Commander.” 

 

Shepard flopped on her bed with a sigh. 

Lunch had been… Interesting. Awkward. She’d been glad Tali and Ash were happy to carry the conversation because between the four, of them they’d been the only ones talking. Liara had seemed to be trying, but was still more reticent than usual, despite the effort. Shepard couldn’t shake the feeling that something had been bothering her. 

She also had a feeling she knew exactly what that was. 

Unfortunately, there hadn’t been anything she could do about it in the middle of the Citadel, or in front of Ash and Tali. So they’d managed in semi-awkward silence before finally coming back to the ship. And now that they were there, Shepard wasn’t really sure what to say. 

_I had sex with the Consort for you? Yeah, that’d go over well._

_Idiot._

Not that she regretted the experience. Sha’ira had been extremely helpful, and honestly, she’d never had sex that good. But as good as it was, she didn’t have any feelings for the Consort. 

There was no way to even begin to deny the feelings she had developed for the asari scientist living on the other side of the ship. Not anymore. Sha’ira had done more than simply download the asari version of the Kama Sutra into her mind. She’d helped her see her feelings very clearly. 

She sat up and shook her head. Sitting here wasn’t going to make this happen. Shepard pushed up and off the bed, leaving her cabin before she could convince herself this was a bad idea. 

The medbay was empty, Doctor Chakwas elsewhere. Liara’s door slid open quietly as she reached it. Liara herself sat at her desk, absorbed in something on her computer. She glanced up as the door opened, then scrambled to her feet when she saw her. 

“Liara. Can we talk?” 

“Of course, Shepard.” 

She came in, leaning awkwardly against a shelving unit as the door slid shut. “Are you okay?” 

Liara fidgeted, then leaned against her desk, not quite meeting Shepard’s eyes. “I am fine.” 

_She’s going to dance around this all night if you don’t just come out with it._ “You seemed upset, earlier. When you met me, coming from the Consort’s suite. Did it…bother you?” 

Liara’s eyes jumped to hers, and Shepard did her best to look reassuring. She wasn’t sure if it worked. 

“I…” 

Shepard looked away, feeling guilty. Her eyes fell on Liara’s computer. “Wait, is that an article on me?” 

Liara blushed furiously. “It is.” 

Shepard looked at her feet, smiling. “You could’ve asked me, you know. I’d have told you anything you wanted to know.” 

“I did not want to make a fool of myself. But there is something so compelling about you, Shepard…” Liara reached over and shut the extranet window. “I thought at first it was just your connection to the beacon, or that you had rescued me, and certainly, those are a part of my interest. But it has grown beyond that. You…intrigue me, Shepard. I feel as if we share some type of connection. But I did not feel it was appropriate to act on my feelings.” 

Shepard felt giddy. 

“Especially if there is something between you and Lieutenant Alenko.” 

Shepard laughed. “Only on his side. I keep trying to let him down easy. I suppose it would make things easier if I preferred women, but he’s friends with a guy I went out with a few times, so he knows I don’t.” She sighed and stood up. “But no, there’s nothing there, as far as I’m concerned. The only person I’m interested in is standing in front of me.” 

Liara’s blue eyes went wide. 

“And about the Consort today—” 

Liara waved her off. “Shepard, I do not care.” 

She stepped forward, placing her hands on Liara’s arms. “But I do. You’re extremely smart, Liara. I saw you put the pieces together. And I saw that it hurt. So let me explain?” 

 

Liara didn’t really want to hear her suspicions confirmed, not and let it ruin the elation she felt at Shepard’s admission. 

_The only person I’m interested in is standing in front of me._

The words burned through her as much as the gently stroke of Shepard’s thumbs on her biceps. But Shepard seemed so earnest, seemed to need to tell her. So she nodded. 

Shepard smiled, and dropped her hands, then started pacing the room. “Okay. Sha’ira really did ask me to help her. And I did. Sorted out some issues between a Turian general and an elcor diplomat. After, we talked. She offered me an affirmation of words.” 

Liara’s brow rose. “Shepard, that’s… That’s a very generous thing.” 

The commander looked up, slightly confused. “You know, I got that impression, but I’m still not sure why. You’ll have to explain sometime.” She ran a hand through her hair, and Liara noticed she hadn’t returned it to the knot she usually wore it in. “Anyway, after, she noticed something was bothering me, so she asked. I told her about you, about my feelings…and about how I’d never been with another woman before.” 

Liara blushed, feeling both flattered and slightly embarrassed. “Shepard, Asari are mono-gendered. Male and female do not have any real meaning for us.” 

Shepard looked embarrassed. “That may be true, but physiologically, you’re basically female. You give birth, all your, um, parts are of the female variety.” 

“I suppose that is true.” 

In the dim light of her room, she could see Shepard’s face darken to a flushed red. “Yeah. So I, um, asked for some advice. And she showed me some pointers.” 

Liara’s heart skipped as she realized what the commander was saying. “Shepard, I…” 

“So that’s why. Sorry if it bothered you. I didn’t want it to. I didn’t know I’d be running into you guys, and—” 

Liara smiled and stepped forward, overwhelmed by the rush of emotion she felt, but needing to stop the almost desperate string of words that tumbled guiltily from Shepard. She reached out, placing her hands on the commander’s awkwardly crossed arms. “I am flattered, Shepard.” 

The human woman smiled hesitantly, and Liara felt a rush of pleasure at seeing this new side of the strong soldier. She felt privileged by the intimate glimpse behind the commander’s walls. 

“Liara, would…would you call me Kylie? Sometimes?” 

Liara raised one hand, unable to keep herself from touching Shepard’s face, from tracing the strong jaw. “I’d like that. Kylie.” She smiled wider as the commander leaned into her touch. “Why do I feel so close to you?” 

Shepard smiled. “Doesn’t make any sense, does it? Logic doesn’t work when it comes to relationships. Mom used to tell me that you just had to let yourself get swept up in the storm.” She laughed suddenly. “Of course, this is the same woman who still won’t tell me who my father was, so.” 

“Something we have in common.” Liara looked away, letting her hand slide down Shepard’s shoulder. “You make it sound so chaotic.” 

“Feelings usually are.” 

Liara stepped away, though she hated to. “This is all a bit overwhelming, Kylie.” 

Shepard laughed. “Tell me about it. I used to like guys, remember? Let’s just take it slow, okay?” 

Liara turned back, grateful that the commander felt the same way. “Considering everything that is going on, with Saren, with the Reapers, maybe that’s for the best.” 

“I should agree with you, but…” Shepard shrugged. “I don’t care about that. I care about what’s right for us.” She stepped forward and ran the backs of her fingers along Liara’s cheekbone. 

It made her shiver. “Thank you, Kylie.” 

Shepard smiled, and left the room. 

_Goddess._ Liara smiled so wide it hurt her cheeks. _Shepard likes me._


	5. Chapter 5

The Matriarch clutched at her head, obviously in pain. “You have to stop hi—me. I ca—I can’t. His teeth are at my ear, fingers on my spine! You sho—you should—ah! You should—” 

“Mother, I—don’t leave!” 

Shepard’s heart ached at the pain in Liara’s voice. Cold fury beat underneath that, at Saren, for the chaos he brought, the trail of death he left, and was forcing her to leave. For taking Liara’s mother, and twisting her beyond herself, beyond her consent. 

“Fight him!” 

Benezia turned again, her eyes full of sorrow and agony. She glanced first at Shepard, and Shepard understood. “You’ve always made me proud, Liara.” 

But when the matriarch turned for the last time, her eyes were empty. Purple biotics swirled around her, charging. “Die!” 

Shepard didn’t wait. She rushed Benezia in a biotic charge, knocking her into the wall before her barrier could fully realize. The matriarch gasped, coming back to herself for a moment. 

“I cannot go on. You will have to stop him, Shepard.” 

Shepard cursed. “Hold on! We’ve got medi-gel, maybe we can—” 

“No.” She took a shuddering breath. “He is still in my mind. I am not entirely myself, I never will be again.” Benezia’s head rolled back, her eyes closing. 

“Mother…” 

“Good night, Little Wing. I will…see you again…with the dawn…” Her body slumped sideways, sliding to the floor. “No light… They always said… there would…be a light…” She gasped a final time, and then was still. 

“Mother, no…” 

Shepard turned, catching Liara as she fell, her legs giving out. “Easy, there.” She glanced at Wrex and Garrus, who nodded and walked away to check for stragglers. “I’m so sorry, Liara.” 

The asari didn’t answer, just clung to her, head buried against the hard lines of her armor while her body shuddered with silent sobs. Shepard wished she could do more, wished there was something to say, something that would stop her Liara’s heart breaking in her hands. 

_For this, if nothing else, I will kill Saren. Fucking bastard._

She wished her own heart wasn’t breaking at having had to kill her friend’s mother. 

“Shepard…” Liara sniffed, then pushed away, but Shepard didn’t understand the look on her face, not until she turned, too. 

She’d forgotten about the rachni queen. 

_Shit._ “Just hold on here, okay?” Liara nodded, and Shepard stood, walking over to the glass of the tank. 

An—arm? claw? tentacle?—darted out and suckered onto the glass. Shepard jumped back, only to run into one of the asari commandos, stumbling forward. She raised her gun, but the commando shuffled past, until she reached the tank. 

“This one serves…as our voice. We…cannot sing, not in these low places. Your musics are…colorless.” 

Shepard stared. _Holy fuck._ “You’re using her? To speak?” 

“We are the…mother. We sing for those left behind. The children you thought silenced. We are rachni.” 

_Shit._ “Did you order your people to kill the science team?” 

“No. We were locked away here. The children are beyond our songs. They have been…lost. To silence. The children we birthed were stolen from us, before they could learn to speak. They are lost to silence. End their suffering. They cannot be saved.” 

Curiouser and curiouser. “The scientists stole them? And they, what, went crazy?” 

“They sought to turn our children into beasts of war, claws, with no songs of their own. Our elders are comfortable with silence. Children know only fear, if no one sings to them. Fear has shattered their minds.” 

“I understand.” Shepard turned, to see Liara pushing to her feet with Wrex’s help. “A child left alone in a closet until she is sixteen would not be sane.” 

Shepard nodded. “If you’re certain there’s no other way.” 

“There is not. But before you deal with our children, we stand before you. What will you sing? Will you release us? Are we to fade away once more?” 

Wrex grunted. “Rachni. They’re dangerous, Shepard. You’ve seen.” 

She looked at Garrus, who shrugged. “Wrex is right, but, well, I’m not big on genocide.” 

Liara shook her head. “The Council made a mistake. Just like they did with your people, Wrex. This is a chance for us to atone, Shepard. She has done nothing.” 

Shepard bowed her head, and turned back to the rachni and her asari voice. 

“Your companions hear the truth. You have the power to free us, or return our people to the silence of memory.” 

“If I let you live, would you attack other races again?” 

“No. We…I…do not know what happened in the war. We only heard discordance, songs the color of oily shadows. We would seek a hidden place to teach our children harmony. If they understand, perhaps we would return.” 

Shepard chewed on her lip. The wind picked up outside, howling against the storm barriers, and then faded. 

_No._

“I won’t destroy an entire race. You’ll go free.” 

“You…will give us the chance to compose anew? We will remember. We will sing of your forgiveness to our children.” 

Shepard nodded, mind made up, and moved to the control panel. The tank shuddered, then moved upward. The commando collapsed to the ground, dead, and as the tank aligned with the entry, the rachni queen skittered out, and was gone. 

“I hope you know what you’re doing, Shepard.” But the krogan smiled as he said it, and she knew he agreed with her. 

Liara said nothing, only looked at her with gratitude. 

 

Liara felt numb. She hardly remembered returning to the Normandy, or stumbling into the briefing room to sit between Wrex and Garrus, hardly heard the voices around her. 

_Focus, Liara. You’re no use like this._

Ash was talking. “What’s our next move, Commander? Head for the Mu Relay?” 

Shepard shook her head. “The Mu Relay could link to dozens of systems. Unless we know exactly where Saren’s going, we’d just be wasting our time.” 

Liara forced herself to speak. “The Commander is right. We cannot rush off blind. We still need to learn more about Saren.” 

Ash glared. “Who put you in charge? Did the Commander resign when I wasn’t looking?” 

Liara cringed, wishing she’d kept her mouth shut. The Chief was right, it wasn’t her place. 

“We’re all on the same team here, Williams. She’s just trying to help.” 

Liara cringed worse, knowing she’d forced Shepard to stand up for her. _I should’ve stayed in my room._

“Sorry, Commander.” 

She heard Shepard sigh. “Look, this is a tough mission. We’re all on edge. Everyone go get some rest.” 

Liara stumbled out of the room as Joker came over the comm. But a hand on her arm stopped her. She turned, surprised to see Ash. 

“Liara. I’m sorry, that was really rude of me. Sometimes I open my mouth, and the bitch comes out.” 

“Do not worry about it, Ash. But thank you.” 

Ash shook her head. “I do worry about it. I’m not used to working with other species, but I need to get used to it. And I need to stop being a bitch. It’s a bad habit. And I’m sorry about your mom.” 

Liara nodded. “Thank you.” It was really the only thing to say. “I think I’m just going to go lie down.” 

“Yeah.” Ash gave her a concerned look. “Let me know if you need anything, okay?” 

She nodded, because it was a kind offer. “I will.” 

 

“I hope you’re right, Shepard. Our children’s children will pay the price, if you’re not.” 

She clenched her teeth, trying not to bark at the turian councilor. Fortunately, the asari councilor stepped in. “We’ll be waiting for your next report, Commander.” 

She reached out to cut the link, but Shepard raised a hand. “Councilor Tevos, could I speak to you a moment?” 

Tevos looked at her companions and nodded, waiting until they left the room. “What can I do for you, Commander?” 

Shepard hesitated. “It’s Benezia. How… I don’t know asari customs. I didn’t feel right just leaving her body, especially not with her daughter in my crew. And I firmly believe the matriarch was not responsible for her actions. She was…hypnotized, brainwashed. Indoctrinated, she called it. She said she joined him originally to stop him. She talked about how her mind was slowly taken from her, until all she could do was wall off a small part in the hope someone like me would come along. She gave us the coordinates to the Mu Relay, helped us as much as she could, at the end. She fought it with her dying breath.” 

Tevos didn’t answer right away. “So you believe she was not a traitor.” 

“That’s correct.” 

The asari councilor nodded once. “I will make arrangements to have her body shipped to Thessia. The matriarchs will take care of her. Thank you, Shepard. This is… It is kindly done.” 

Shepard nodded. “Madame Councilor.” 

 

Liara was staring at her computer when the door hissed open. She didn’t move. A small corner of her mind smiled at Shepard’s kindness, coming to look in on her. But the rest of her still felt numb. “If you’re here to talk about Benezia’s death, you need not bother. She brought it upon herself.” 

It killed her to say the words, but she knew without looking that the commander felt guilty for having killed her. For not finding a way to save her. She’d heard it in Shepard’s voice on Noveria, as Benezia lay dying. 

Gentle hands came to rest on her shoulders. “Don’t pretend it doesn’t bother you. She was your mother.” 

Liara bowed her head. “She was. But she was not. I prefer to remember her as she used to be, before she was corrupted by Sovereign’s power.” 

Shepard’s weight shifted, until she was hugging Liara’s shoulders. “The best of her lives on in you. Her determination, her intelligence, her strength. And don’t forget that she fought, at the end. She fought for you.” 

“I…” She closed her eyes against the tears. “That is kind of you say. I appreciate your concern, but I am fine.” 

“Liara.” Shepard’s voice held patience and sorrow. “If it was my mother, I’d be curled up on the floor, sobbing. You don’t have to be strong. Not over this.” 

She fought it for another minute, but couldn’t hold out. The tears broke past the dam, pouring down her face as she crumpled. “I am not fine. Goddess, Kylie, I…” Liara found herself swept up into Shepard’s strong arms as the sobs came. She and Benezia had fought a lot, and spoken little, in the last few decades, but Liara had loved her mother, fiercely. To see her like that, reduced to a puppet… “Thank you, Shepard,” she choked out between sobs. “Thank you for killing her. Better to have died, than to have lived like that…” 

“I’m so, so sorry, Liara. I wish there had been another way.” 

She shook her head. “There was not. I am glad it was you.” 

Shepard held her while the sobs calmed to silent tears, before she spoke again. “I talked with Councilor Tevos. She’s making arrangements to have Benezia transported to Thessia. She said she’d speak with the matriarchs, tell them what I said.” 

_Oh, Kylie…_ “What did you say to her?” 

“That she joined Saren in an effort to calm him, that she fought the indoctrination to her dying breath. That she wasn’t a traitor.” 

Liara closed her eyes, happy to rest her head against Shepard’s arm. “Thank you.” 

“I just wish I could’ve done more.” 

“You did more than anyone would.” 

She could feel Shepard shake her head, but she didn’t say more. “Would you tell me about her?” 

Liara smiled sadly, not sure she had the energy. “I don’t think I can right now.” Even as she said it, though, an idea came to her. It was a huge thing to ask, but maybe… 

“Kylie… May I show you?” 

Shepard hugged her tighter for a second. “I’d like that.” 

Liara sat up, pulling off her gloves. She’d melded with Shepard before, to see the beacon’s message, but this was much more personal, and a single look in Shepard’s sharp green eyes said she understood. Slowly, she reached up, running her fingers over the scar that cut over the commander’s cheekbone, then gently rested her palm against her jaw. “Relax your mind, Kylie, and embrace eternity.” 

She slipped into the meld gently, and was met with a warm sense of comfort and affection, tinged with regret and sorrow. Like a mental hug. Liara smiled as she realized that was exactly the feeling Shepard was projecting. She sent her thanks across their link, and then delved into her own memories. 

_Looking up at her mother, holding tight to her hand, and the pretty yellow flower she’d given her._

_Visiting the Temple of Athame, her mother’s patient smile as she stared in awe at the artifacts._

_Picnics in the gardens of Armali, discussing politics and history._

A thousand and one memories, some good, some bad, some that just were. The arguments, the hugs, all of them. A lifetime of memory in a few minutes. Eventually, she pulled away, ending the meld, only to find her tears mirrored on Shepard’s face. Shepard said nothing, just tilted her head to place a gentle kiss at the corner of her mouth. It was done before Liara could react, and she was being pulled back into Shepard’s arms. 

 

Shepard held her tightly until she felt her breathing shift into the softer pattern of sleep. She lifted her gently with her biotics and put her to bed, tucking her in, and leaving her with a soft kiss on her crest. 

Chakwas smiled sadly as she came out, waiting until the door closed before she spoke. “How is she?” 

“Stronger than anyone I know.” She shook her head. “She’s asleep. I can’t imagine things won’t be hard for a bit, but she’ll be okay. Though I’d appreciate it if you’d keep an eye on her, Doctor.” 

“Of course, Commander. But you’re right, sleep is the best thing, and I believe she will be fine.” 

Shepard nodded. “Make sure she eats?” 

Doctor Chakwas smiled and made shooing motions. “I will. But she’s not the only one who needs sleep, Commander. Go.” 

Shepard nodded, realizing just how tired she was, and left. Kaiden was at his duty post when she came around the corner, and she cringed inwardly. She didn’t have the energy to deal with him right now. 

_Maybe I can sneak past him._

_Yeah, right._

“Commander.” 

“Lieutenant.” 

She made to keep walking, but he hesitated, then spoke again. “How is she?” 

Shepard sighed. “Hurting. But she’ll be okay.” 

He nodded, then hesitated again before looking up. “I’m glad she has you, ma’am.” 

She felt relief wash through her. “Thank you, Kaiden.” 

He nodded and turned back to his work, and Shepard slid past him into her room, happy to collapse on her bed. Happy to hold the memories Liara had gifted her with, and happy to admit that she was well on her way to being in love.


	6. Chapter 6

“Shepard, watch out!” 

The final blast from her shotgun caused the root node to rip out of the wall, whipping past her. Lash-hard tendrils caught her in the face before she could raise her barrier. “Fuck!” 

_This is why you wear a helmet, idiot._ More missions than she could count, and she’d never lost her helmet before. But then, she had been overtaxing her equipment lately. Probably beyond what was expected of it. _Gonna have to look into armor upgrades, and soon._ She made a mental note to do just that, and hoped she'd remember. The blood that ran from several cuts on her face should remind her. They stung, but she didn’t care. The Thorian screamed as the remaining root nodes gave away, and it fell into the cavern below with a sickening, echoing splat. 

_Fuck, I’m tired._

“Shepard!” 

She felt Liara hold her up. “I’m fine, just exhausted. Been a while since I had to use my biotics exclusively.” She wasn’t really fine. She could feel the sick twinge of biotic overload encroaching on her, turning her stomach and leaving her head foggy and spinning. 

“Damn, Shepard. You keep finding the best fights.” She glanced over as Wrex lumbered up. “How’re you going to top mind-controlling giant plants?” 

She gave the krogan a feeble grin. The cuts on her face pulled, then cooled as Liara slathered medi-gel on them. “I’ll think of something, Wrex. Any word from Ash and Garrus?” 

“I dunno, Shepard. You’ll have to work hard to find something better. And yeah, Garrus says the colony’s fine. Tali’s getting their comms back up now.” The krogan grinned, then spun, cocking his shotgun as a pod on the wall split. An asari slid to the floor, then stumbled to her feet looking slightly dazed. 

“Shepard?” He looked at her, not sure if the new arrival was friend or foe. 

She held up her hand. “Just wait a sec. She’s not green, and she’s not shooting, so I’m willing to give her a moment.” 

The new asari wobbled a little on her feet, then blinked. “I… I’m free.” She glanced between the three of them, still weaving like a drunk. “I suppose I should thank you for releasing me.” 

Shepard stood up with a wince, and stepped closer. _Definitely bruised a few ribs, there. Ugh._ “Are you alright?” 

“I… I’m fine. Or I will be, in time.” 

“Shiala?” They all turned as Liara stepped forward. 

“I… Liara?” 

Liara turned. “Shepard, this is Shiala. One of my mother’s commandos. We were in school together.” 

Shepard nodded. Slowly, because her head was beginning to pound. _Definitely biotic shock. Shit._ “How did you end up here?” 

“As Liara said, I serve—I served Matriarch Benezia. When she allied herself with Saren, so did I. Benezia foresaw the influence Saren would have. She joined him to guide him down a gentler path. But Saren is compelling. Benezia—and the rest of us—lost her way.” 

Liara bowed her head. “We know. Shiala, Benezia is dead.” 

Shiala bowed her head as well. “Then she is at rest, and free from his influence.” 

Shepard nodded. “She is. Shiala, asari matriarchs are among the most intelligent and powerful beings in the galaxy. How could one fall under Saren’s control?” 

“Saren has a vessel. An enormous warship unlike anything I’ve ever seen. He calls it Sovereign. It can dominate the minds of his followers. They become indoctrinated to Saren’s will. The process is subtle. It can take days, weeks. But in the end, it is absolute.” Shiala began to pace, growing steadier on her feet. “I was a willing slave when Saren brought me to this world. He needed my control of the meld to communicate with the Thorian, to learn its secrets. Saren offered me in trade. I was sacrificed to secure an alliance between them.” 

The cold rage Shepard kept stuffed away surged. “Saren’s pretty quick to betray his own people.” 

Shiala stopped pacing, and nodded. “He was quick to betray the Thorian, too. After he had what he wanted, he ordered the geth to destroy all evidence of its location.” She returned to pacing, agitated. “Saren knows you are searching for the Conduit. He knows you are following his steps. He attacked the Thorian so you could not obtain the Cipher.” 

Shepard rubbed her forehead, trying to will the headache and its accompanying nausea away, and failing miserably. _Dr. Chakwas is going to read me the riot act for this._ “What’s this Cipher? And why did Saren need it?” 

“The beacon on Eden Prime gave you visions, yes? But the visions are unclear, confusing. They were meant for a Prothean mind. To truly comprehend them, you must think like a Prothean. You must understand their culture, their history, their very existence. The Thorian was here long before the Protheans built this city. It watched and studied them. When they died, it consumed them. They became a part of it.” 

“So the Thorian taught Saren to think like a Prothean? How?” 

Shiala shook her head. “The Cipher is the very essence of being a Prothean. It cannot be described or explained. It would be like describing color to a creature without eyes. To understand, you must have access to endemic ancestral memory. A viewpoint spanning thousands of Prothean generations. I sensed this ancestral memory—the Cipher—when I melded with the Thorian. Our identities merged, our minds intertwined. Such knowledge cannot be taught; it simply exists.” 

Shepard resisted the urge to hold her head, as the throbbing continued to get worse. “Look, I need that knowledge to stop Saren. How did Saren get it?” 

Shiala looked at her sideways. “Through the meld. I can transfer the knowledge from my mind to yours, as I did with him.” 

_Fuck._

“Shepard, don’t.” Liara leaned closely. “You’re exhausted. The meld is difficult under the best circumstances. You know that.” 

Shepard knew Liara was right, but she shook her head. “Liara, I don’t have a choice. Without this, we lose Saren.” 

She stepped forward before Liara could protest, and nodded at Shiala. “Do it.” 

“Try to relax, Commander. Slow, deep breaths. Let go of your physical shell. Reach out to grasp the threads that bind us, one to another. Every action sends ripples across the galaxy. Every idea must touch another mind to live. Each emotion must mark another’s spirit. We are all connected. Every living being united in a single, glorious existence. Open yourself to the universe, Commander. Embrace Eternity!” 

Shepard screamed. A thousand million thoughts, the memory of an entire race poured through her, setting her mind on fire. She saw death and destruction, genocide, a star system, and something that looked like a giant robotic…squid? _What the fuck?_

The echoes were still reverberating through her head when she found her body, collapsed on her knees, and shaking. Liara’s hands were wrapped around her. 

“I have given you the Cipher, just as it was given to Saren. The ancestral memories of the Protheans are a part of you, now. It will take time for your mind to process the information.” 

Shepard gasped in air, finally remembering how to breathe, and dry heaved. 

“Shepard! Wrex, help me get her up.” 

“I’m fine,” she panted. “I’m fine.” 

“Yeah, yeah, you’re tough. I’m still dragging your sorry ass back to the ship.” She felt herself lifted up into Wrex’s arms. 

“I am sorry if you have suffered, Commander.” Shepard forced herself to look at Shiala, even though focusing was nearly impossible. But the asari commando did look genuinely apologetic. “There was no other way. You needed the Cipher.” 

“Not your fault.” 

Liara shushed her. “She’s right, Shiala. It wasn’t your fault. The fight took a toll on all of us.” 

“I understand. I… I would like to return to the colony. To help them rebuild.” 

“That is admirable, Shiala.” Shepard closed her eyes, the exhaustion taking over as Liara offered the other asari her arms. “The colony will need all the help they can get. I have no doubt they will be happy to have you.” 

“Thank you, Liara. May fortune smile upon you, and on you, Commander.” 

Shiala’s words were the last she heard, before oblivion took over. 

 

Shepard rolled over with a groan. “Fuck me to hell.” 

Someone chuckled, and it took a moment for Shepard to place the voice. 

“Doctor Chakwas?” 

“Right in one, Commander. How are you feeling?” 

Shepard sat up with a wince. “Like a herd of angry krogan trampled over my head?” 

Chakwas pursed her lips, and handed her a glass of water, which Shepard took gratefully. “Try not to overextend your biotics next time, Commander. You know it’s not healthy. And definitely no melding with strange asari afterward.” 

“Well, you’re no fun.” 

“Commander.” 

Shepard sighed. “It’s not like I wanted to. But I lost my pistol, and my damn shotgun kept overheating. And a sniper rifle is useless in close quarters. You try dealing with swarming plant-zombie things and asari commando clones, without overextending your biotics.” 

“How did you lose your pistol?” 

She grimaced. “Got thrown by a commando clone, and it fell into a chasm.” 

“I see. And this?” She pointed to the now partially healed wound on Shepard’s face. 

“The seal cracked on my helmet when the clone threw me. I think it ended up in the same chasm as my pistol.” 

Dr. Chakwas shook her head. “In that case, Commander, I’d say you did well not to fry your brain entirely. Even with an L3, you can do yourself a lot of damage. Lots of food, lots of rest. And no biotic use for a day, at least.” 

“Fine by me.” 

“The crew are waiting for your debrief, as well.” 

Shepard nodded, wincing at the headache. “Thanks, Doctor.” Chakwas nodded, and the commander brought up her comm as she walked out of the medbay. “Joker, get everyone in the briefing room.” 

_“Aye, ma’am.”_

 

“Commander.” Shepard pulled her head out of her hand, and looked at Liara. “You look…pale. Are you alright?” 

“I’m fine. The Cipher shook me up a bit, on top of overextending my biotics. I just need some rest and food, but I wanted to get this out of the way.” 

Liara hesitated. “I have a suggestion, but you should eat first, and possibly even take a nap.” 

“I just took a nap.” 

Liara gave her a patient look. “Another one.” 

Shepard stared at the floor, and Liara knew she shouldn’t have said anything. “What is this idea?” 

“I’ve spent my life studying the Protheans. If we melded, it’s possible we might be able to make sense of it together. But Shepard—” 

Shepard shook her head. “Do it. We don’t have time to wait, we need answers.” 

“Commander—” 

“Do it, Liara. Please.” 

Liara hesitated, then stood. Shepard knew the consequences, and what she was capable of. It wasn’t her place to push the issue. “Very well. Relax your mind, Shepard. Embrace eternity!” 

The beacon’s vision tore through her mind again, the genocide of an entire race. It was more vivid, this time, but it almost felt… 

“Goddess!” She sagged as the meld ended. “I had no idea, Shepard. A lesser mind would have been torn apart.” 

“Well?” She turned to see Kaiden perched on the edge of his seat. “Did you see anything?” 

Liara shook her head. “The beacon on Eden Prime must have been damaged. The data is incomplete, I’m sure of it.” 

Shepard nodded, looking paler and somewhat unsteady. Actually, she looked like she was only staying on her feet through sheer will. “Makes sense.” The commander closed her eyes for a moment, and swallowing. “You didn’t get anything new, though?” 

“No, nothing that would help us find it. Something…something is missing. Information, a part of the vision. And Saren must have it. Maybe he found another beacon. I’m sure if we can find the missing data, I can…I can…” Shepard’s arms caught her, just as her knees gave out. “I am sorry, Shepard. Initiating the meld, especially with something so alien…” 

“Garrus, can you help Liara down to the medbay?” 

“Sure thing, Shepard. Are you sure you’re—” 

She waved him off, already activating her comm. “Joker? Cue up the Council. And someone find me a really big steak. And a few stims for this headache.” 

_“Uh, sure thing, Commander.”_

Liara glanced at Garrus, but the turian just shrugged, as if to say, _What can you do with her?_


	7. Chapter 7

Shepard sat down hard, dropping her head in her hands, and groaned. Reaching up, she pulled her hair out of its bun, and massaged the back of her scalp. She pulled off her boots next, dropping them at the foot of the bed, and then simply…sat. It felt wonderful to just stop for a moment, to breathe, and not have to talk or make decisions. Or do anything. No shooting, no dealing with crew or the Council… 

Just a still moment of peace and quiet. 

Now if her headache would only shut up and let her enjoy it. 

The door to her room slid open. Shepard looked up, wincing at the light from the mess, and then froze. “Liara.” 

The asari hovered in the doorway, nervous. “I thought, maybe I would come check on you, for a change.” 

Shepard smiled, despite the exhaustion and the headache. “That’s nice of you. Just, come in, so the door will close?” 

Liara jumped forward. “Oh! I am sorry, Shepard.” 

She waved a hand at her, but didn’t get up from the bed. “It’s fine. My head’s still pounding, and the darkness helps.” 

“I see.” Liara turned, glancing back at the door. “I should not have come. You need your rest.” 

“No, Liara, wait…” The asari turned back, and Shepard smiled at her. “I’m happy you came. To check on me, I mean. You don’t have to leave.” 

“But you are not well.” 

She sighed. “You staying or going isn’t going to make a difference there. I’m just going to have to stick this out.” 

Liara stepped further into the room, taking a seat at the desk. “I should not have allowed Shiala to initiate the meld, not when you were so exhausted. It is my fault you are in this condition.” 

Shepard shook her head gently. “I needed the Cipher, Liara. Besides, that isn’t the problem. If it had just been exhaustion, that would be one thing. I overextended my biotics. I don’t know if it happens for asari, but with our implants, too much use will cause something we call biotic shock.” 

“I see.” Liara shifted in her seat, leaning forward to rest her hands on her knees. “It does not affect us that way, no. Overuse of our biotics simply leaves us drained, and in need of rest.” 

Shepard grimaced, and let herself fall back onto her bed. “I wish that’s all it was. We get the exhaustion, but that’s only half. Nausea, massive headache, and if we push too far, well, let’s just say the shock is the best effect.” 

“What do you mean?” 

She closed her eyes, wishing she hadn’t brought it up. “If we overload our implants too much, they can kill us.” 

“Shepard!” 

She immediately regretted the fear in Liara’s voice. “I’d have to do a hell of a lot more for that to happen. It’s fine. I have an L3, which is a lot safer. Now Lieutenant Alenko, with his L2? _That’s_ the really dangerous one. Unstable. The guy gets constant migraines from his.” 

Liara didn’t answer, and in the darkness and the quiet, Shepard felt it was almost impossible not to drift off. But then the bed sagged beside her, and she opened her eyes to see the asari scientist looking down at her. “You push yourself too hard, Shepard.” 

She shrugged, unable to look away. “I have to.” 

“You are so strong. I do not know how you do it.” 

Shepard felt the blood run to her cheeks. “It’s in my genes. Generations of strong Shepard women. You should see my mother.” 

In the dark, she barely made out the lifting of Liara’s brow. “I do not see how even your mother could compare.” 

Shepard laughed, relaxing. “The great Hannah Shepard, Alliance Captain, and first officer to Admiral Hennesey? The woman who raised me single-handed without sacrificing her career?” 

Liara’s fingers ran through the hair at her forehead. “She sounds much like my own mother. Very driven.” 

“Hmm.” She let her eyes flutter shut again. 

“I never see you with your hair down, like this.” 

“Gets in the way. Safer to keep it up…” 

Liara tucked a strand behind her ear. “I should let you sleep.” 

Shepard opened her eyes, catching the asari’s hand in her own as it pulled away. “Stay.” 

“Shepard, I—” 

“Please. Just stay. I…” She swallowed, nervous. “I’d like the company.” 

Liara nodded. “Of course, Kylie.” 

Shepard smiled, rolling onto her side as Liara curled up against her. She sighed happily, pulling the other woman’s arms tight around her, and was asleep in moments. 

 

Liara woke to an unfamiliar weight pressed up against her. Her first thought was that she wasn’t in her own cot, but a bed. The weight shifted, an arm wrapping around her waist, and she opened her eyes. 

_Kylie._

A shock of red hair pushed up under her chin as Shepard pulled her close. Liara couldn’t help the smile that crept across her face, any more than she could help reaching up to brush the hair out of the commander’s. 

Asleep, Shepard looked so much younger, as though rest had wiped the constant worry from her. She looked softer, gentler. It brought home again just how much weight 

the human carried on her shoulders every day. Liara felt privileged to be able to see such a vulnerable side of her, but also sad. 

So much was expected of her, and yet, she expected even more of herself. She was an incredible woman, tough, capable, indomitable… 

“Are you studying me, Doctor?” 

Liara blushed, realizing Shepard’s green eyes were not only open, but staring back at her. “I am sorry, I was lost in thought…” 

The human woman smiled. “I know. You scowl a little when you’re thinking.” 

She gasped. “I do not!” 

Shepard laughed. “You do. You get an adorable little crease right here—” Her finger came up, swiping at the crease in her brow. “And then your lips press together, like you’re willing the universe to tell you its secrets, and won’t take no for an answer.” 

Liara blushed harder. That the commander would recognize that about her… 

Shepard sighed, closing her eyes again. “This was nice, waking up next to you. Thank you for staying.” She breathed a small laugh. “Best night’s sleep I’ve had in ages.” 

Liara brought her hand up, letting it cradle the woman’s head. “It was nice. Perhaps…” 

“Yeah.” The word came out almost as a sigh. Hopeful, but resigned. Chances were… 

_“Commander?”_

Shepard groaned and triggered her omni-tool. “What is it, Joker?” 

Liara frowned at the exhaustion that still bled through in Shepard’s voice. 

“Sorry to wake you, ma’am. We’re about thirty minutes out from Virmire.” 

“Thanks, Joker. Have everyone meet me in cargo in twenty.” 

_“Aye-aye, Commander.”_

Shepard gave her one last squeeze, and pulled away. “Duty calls.” 

“Shepard?” The question was evident, but Liara asked anyway as she sat up. “What are we doing on Virmire?” 

The commander shrugged. “No idea. The Council asked me to check out some STG distress call. Should be a nice, short recon mission. And since we haven’t got anymore leads on Saren, it’s as good a place as any.” 

Liara frowned as the commander walked to her closet and pulled out clean clothes. Something about this bothered her. 

_Nonsense. You’re being ridiculous, T‘Soni._

She shook off the feeling and stood, heading for the door. 

“Liara.” 

She turned. “Yes, Shepard?” 

The commander smiled. “I meant what I said. Thank you.” 

Liara ducked her head, blushing again. “It was my pleasure, Kylie.” A million other thoughts bubbled up, words she wanted to say, and was too nervous to. So she said nothing, just shook her head, smiled at the commander again, and left.


	8. Chapter 8

_“I don’t think we can survive until you get here. I’m activating the bomb.”_

Shepard swore. “Alenko, what are you doing?” 

_“Making sure this bomb goes off. No matter what. It’s done, Commander. Go get Williams, and get the hell out of here.”_

_“Screw that!”_ Ash’s voice crackled over the comm, gunfire rattling in the background. _“We can handle ourselves. Go back and get Alenko.”_

Shepard stared at the ground, knowing the longer she took to decide, the more people died. _Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck Saren, fuck this galaxy._ She squeezed her eyes shut and tapped her comm. “Williams. Radio Joker and tell him to meet us on the AA tower.” 

_“Yes, Commander, I…”_

_“It’s the right choice, and you know it, Ash.”_

Shepard gripped her gun and ran. “Stay alive. I’m coming to get you too, Kaiden.” 

_“I think we both know that’s not going to happen, Commander.”_

“Just stay alive, dammit!” 

 

Liara stood outside Shepard’s door, and took a deep breath. Everyone was taking the lieutenant’s death badly. Ash blamed herself. Tali and Garrus had gone to try and comfort her. Shepard had given her the tough love she needed, and Liara was confident she’d be fine. 

But Shepard… 

She’d run the post-mission debrief. They’d even found a destination—Ilos. Saren’s beacon had provided everything they needed, and Liara had been able to pick the location out. But between losing Kaiden, and the Council refusing to send the fleet, she’d watched Shepard quietly crumble. She’d calmly finished her report to the Council, and silently made the walk to her cabin. She hadn’t spoken a word to anyone. 

_She was there for you after Noveria. Be there for her now._

Liara keyed the access to Shepard’s door, and stepped in. There was little light, once the door closed behind her, and for a moment she thought maybe the commander wasn’t there, after all. 

Until she heard the quiet crying from the corner. 

She found Shepard curled up behind the bed, tucked in the corner. Her shoulders shook with near-silent sobs and gasping breaths. Liara said nothing, just curled up beside the human, and wrapped her arms around her. 

“It’s all my fault,” she whispered. 

Liara shook her head. “You had to make a choice, and you did. Kaiden gladly gave his life.” 

“He shouldn’t have had to.” 

“No.” Liara pulled her tighter. “No, he shouldn’t.” 

“It’s my fault. My decision.” 

“Oh, Kylie. It’s not your fault, anymore than it is Ashley’s. If the blame falls anywhere, it’s firmly with Saren and Sovereign. Not you.” 

Shepard said nothing for some time, but the tears continued to fall, soundless sobs wracking her body. Liara said nothing more. There was nothing to say, and they both knew it. So she did the only thing she could—held the human commander tight, and cried with her. 

It wasn’t until Shepard’s tears ran out, that she spoke again. “I’m going to kill him, Liara. I’m going to kill them both. Saren and Sovereign. And anyone else that gets in the way. For Kaiden, for your mother, for Ashley’s unit on Eden Prime, and for everyone else they’ve fucked over.” 

Liara shuddered at the cold anger in Shepard’s voice. It terrified her, but she understood it. “I believe you, Shepard.” She took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, and fixing her determination. “And I’m going to help you.” 

 

_Un-fucking-believable._

Shepard punched the locker hard, warping it with her biotics, and barely resisted the urge to scream. Instead, she clenched her jaw until it ached, and let her head fall against the locker, again and again. _Of all the fucking stupid, idiotic, self-centered—_

A soft hand on her shoulder stopped her mid-thought and mid-motion. “Shepard?” 

She turned at Liara’s voice, slumping down against the bank of lockers as the energy drained out of her. 

“I cannot believe they did this to you. I am so sorry.” 

Shepard sighed, and dropped her head in her hands. “It’s not your fault, Liara. We wouldn’t even know about Ilos if not for you.” 

Liara’s fist clenched, her biotics flaring briefly. “It is not _right!_ You did everything they asked, and more! No one else could have done what you did. The Council owes you everything, _everything_.” The asari began to pace angrily. “Instead, they strip you of your command, and ground the Normandy?” 

Shepard dropped her hands with a sigh. “I don’t care if they ground me. But they refuse to go after Saren.” Her head fell back against the lockers with a _clunk_. “If they don’t stop him from finding the Conduit, we’re all dead.” 

“Perhaps we could appeal—” 

Her fists came up again, to press against her forehead, her anger suddenly raging back. “I _tried_ , Liara. They won’t listen. I pushed as hard as I could, and they wouldn’t budge. They don’t _want_ to listen.” 

Liara stopped pacing, and stared at her. “So you’re just going to walk away? You will just give up, and doom the entire galaxy to extinction?” 

Shepard slammed the side of her fist into the locker bank. “No, dammit! But we’re out of the game for now, until I find us a way back in. And so help me God, I _will_ find us a way back in.” 

Liara crouched down, taking her abused hand in her own. “I believe in you, Shepard. I am with you, every step of the way. No matter what.” The asari stood, still holding her hand, and pulled the commander to her feet. 

They staggered, off balance for a moment, forcing Shepard to grab Liara’s shoulders for support. Forcing them close enough that she couldn’t miss the sharp intake of breath, or the widening of the asari’s sapphire blue eyes. 

Shepard didn’t think, she just moved. Her hand slid from Liara’s shoulder, up to the folds behind her neck, drawing her closer, even as their lips crashed together. She stepped in, pressing their bodies together. She needed this, needed the way Liara’s fingers clutched at her, needed the arch of her back and the sharp gasp as she stroked the folded cords below the asari’s crest. 

Angling her head, Shepard thrust her tongue forward as Liara moaned into her mouth. The asari had professed to being inexperienced, but the way she reacted… _She’s a fucking natural._ Shepard grinned into the kiss, slowly stroking her tongue against Liara’s, sucking at her bottom lip, drawing it out with her teeth, then pushing back in again. Liara whimpered against her, chasing her tongue with her own, running her hands up and down Shepard’s back. 

She pushed Liara into the wall with a groan, suddenly desperate for more. Shovinging her thigh between Liara’s legs, she felt the asari respond instinctively, hips rocking forward into the pressure. Her cabin suddenly felt so far away, down a level, across the ship… Images flashed through her mind, everything Sha'ira had shown her, everything she wanted to do to Liara, _with Liara. _God, I want—__

_“Sorry to interrupt, Commander. Got a message from Captain Anderson.”_

Shepard froze, then pulled back with a ragged, frustrated sigh, resting her forehead against Liara’s as they both tried to catch their breath. She laughed quietly. “Damn him. Sorry, Liara.” 

Liara just smiled, then looked askance. “Was he…” 

Shepard shrugged, and sighed again. “Probably.” She stepped back and keyed her omni-tool. “What is it, Joker?” 

_“The Captain said to meet him at Flux, that club down in the Wards.”_

Liara ran her hand down Shepard’s arm. “You should probably go meet with him.” 

She nodded, even though it was the last thing she wanted to do right then. “Come with me. We’ll take Ash, too.” 

“Of course.” 

“Liara.” Shepard caught her hand, stopping her as she walked away. The asari turned with a hesitant smile. Shepard stepped forward and kissed her again, sucking gently on her upper lip. “We’re not done here.” 

Liara smiled, ducking her head, but when she raised it again, Shepard’s breath caught at the heat in her eyes. “I should hope not.” 

Shepard watched her walk away with what she knew was a stupid and totally inappropriate grin on her face. 

And she didn’t care at all. 

 

Liara leaned against the wall of the elevator and smiled. She closed her eyes, remembering the feel of Shepard’s lips, the way her fingers had stroked at her crest and its folds… Her whole body tingled. She felt on fire, and the ache in her core only deepened the longer she spent thinking about it. About her. 

Shepard. 

_Goddess._

“Uh, Liara? You okay?” 

She jumped. “Ash! I was just… I mean, I…” She swallowed, struggling to get a handle on herself. Shepard had her so flustered… “Shepard sent me. Anderson wants to meet her in Flux, and she wants us to come with her.” 

“Oh, okay.” Ashley gave her a slightly confused look, then turned away. “Let me just grab a side arm. You want yours?” 

“I suppose it couldn’t hurt.” 

Ash smiled and handed her a pistol. “Never hurts to be armed. Though, I guess you biotics always are, aren’t you?” 

Liara nodded, only half paying attention. “Yes. Though, if I’d been carrying a gun on Therum, things might not have been quite so…” 

“You mean, we might not have found you trapped in a Prothean bubble?” 

She nodded again. “I suppose, yes.” _And Shepard might not have had to save me._ “Then again, I might also have gotten myself killed, trying to shoot back, so maybe it all worked out for the best.” She smiled, remembering Shepard’s green eyes, full of humor and curiosity, and her strong arms as she’d caught her. The same strong arms that had held her only minutes before, pinning her to the wall— 

“Are you sure you’re alright, Liara?” 

Liara blushed deeper, forcing her mind back to present matters, and wishing the damnably slow elevator would move faster. “Yes, I was… I’m just distracted.” 

Chief Williams cocked her head, then grinned slowly. “Uh-huh. What happened, you two finally kiss or something?” 

“What? I don’t… I mean… That’s… How did you…” Liara stared, choking on her words, while the chief’s shoulders shook from laughing. 

“Oh God, Liara! I think the entire ship has figured it out, by now. Shepard spends more time talking to you than she does to the rest of us combined, and she spends a lot of time talking to us all. And she’s always grinning after. Seriously though, it’s about time.” 

Liara blushed furiously. “Is it really that obvious?” 

“That you two have a thing for each other? Yeah. I mean, I get it. I think half the crew has a thing for Shepard. And the other half probably have a thing for you.” Ash shrugged, and smiled at her. “You two just… I dunno. You fit.” 

Liara returned the friendly smile. “Thank you. That…that means a lot to me.” 

Ash winked, then scowled as the elevator finally slowed and stopped. “Fanciest ship in the human fleet, and they can’t get an elevator that moves faster than this? I bet we crossed three systems in the time it took to get up here from cargo…”


	9. Chapter 9

Shepard stared at Joker’s console, and the flashing red light that indicated lockdown. Anderson was putting a lot on the line, trying to get them out. She just hoped the Captain knew what he was doing, 

_Come on._

Joker glanced back at her, then jumped in his seat as the lockdown light cut out, and his boards went green again. 

_Thank you._ “Let’s go. Get us out of here, Joker. Now.” Shepard ran back to the CIC as Joker maneuvered them out of dock, pushing them away from the Citadel, and towards the relay. She jumped up the platform and activated the galaxy map, entering the coordinates for the Mu Relay, and Ilos. 

The _Normandy_ shuddered as they made the jump. Shepard took a deep breath, letting it out in a relieved sigh. 

_“Looks like a clean jump into the Pangaea Expanse, Commander. ETA about three hours to Ilos.”_

Shepard nodded to herself, and stepped down, heading for the stairs. “Good job, Joker. Keep me posted. I’ll be in my cabin.” 

_“Sure thing, Commander.”_

Relief only lasted as far as her cabin door. As it slid shut behind her, the full weight of their mission descended on Shepard. 

_This really is it. It may already be too late, if Saren beats us there…_ She shook her head, and leaned on her desk. No. She couldn’t let herself think like that. 

_Kaiden’s death, all of it. I won’t let it be for nothing._

_If only I had some idea—_ any _idea—what we’ll find there._

She sat down, trying to force her thoughts to focus. _I haven’t felt this scattered since my first mission after Akuze._ Still, she’d managed it then, and she could manage it now. 

Focus. 

_I should pick a squad. Liara is the obvious choice, since she knows the Protheans best. I’ll probably need her._ Her thoughts tried to veer in another direction, a more pleasant one, but she wrenched them back. _Tali’s hacking ability would be great if there’s a lot of geth. And I’m sure there will be. But I could use another sniper, Garrus or Ashley… Hell, having Wrex along would be fabulous, too._

_Dammit. I should just bring them all._

It wasn’t the worst idea she’d had. The Mako would be cramped, but it was doable. And she was sure they’d all want to come. _Fuck this. I will bring them all. Saren’s got an entire army of geth, we need all the help we can get. Tali’s tech skills, Garrus, Ash and Wrex for the heavy lifting, Liara for her Prothean knowledge and her biotics…_

Her mind circled back to Liara, and the kiss they’d shared. Her warm, soft lips, the way she’d responded, the hunger she’d awakened in Shepard… 

_Get a grip. This is hardly the time._

She sighed, and dropped her head in her hands. _I should sleep, while I can._ But her mind refused to let go. Mission parameters, doubts, expectations, supplies... One thought led to the next, forcing their way through her mind with the speed of a runaway freighter, mixing with the Prothean vision and her own memories. Too much to do. Too much to worry about, think about. And embedded in it all, stray thoughts and desires, what-ifs. So she barely noticed the door hissing open, until she heard her name. 

“Shepard…” She turned, startled. Liara stood in the shadows near her doorway, looking nervous, her hands twisting together, eyes darting everywhere. Belatedly, she realized the asari wasn’t wearing her usual lab tunic, but that she’d traded it for a pale yellow dress. “May I speak with you?” 

Shepard didn’t realize she was smiling until she was halfway across the room. “Hey. I was just thinking about you.” _Or trying to convince myself not to._

Liara ducked her head. “I…have been thinking about you, too. And what we are about to face.” Shepard opened her mouth to reply, but Liara continued in a rush. “I do not know what is going to happen on Ilos. I hope we will stop Saren, of course, but part of me fears we are already too late… Shepard, I… If we fail…” 

Shepard stepped closer. “We’re not going to fail. I promise.” 

_Now if only I believed that._

Liara gave her a sad smile. “Please, I am not looking for reassurance. Saren may already have the Conduit.” The asari took a deep breath. “It… These could be our last moments, Shepard. And if they are, I… I want to share them with you.” 

“Liara…” Shepard closed the distance between them and took the asari’s hands in her own. They’d danced around this, and she knew Liara had wanted to take things slow. Hell, up until about an hour ago, _she’d_ wanted to take things slow. “Are you sure?” 

Liara smiled, and finally met her eyes. “I have never been more sure of anything in my life. Shepard… Kylie. Will you join with me?” 

Heat poured through Shepard at her words. Their kiss at the Citadel had been awash with grief and the need to forget, a stolen moment that had come as a surprise to them both. But this… “I would be honored, Liara.” 

This time, it was the asari who reached up, wrapping a hand around the back of Shepard’s neck, and drawing her down into a kiss that surprised her with its force. There was no tentative exploration, just raw need. Shepard’s lips parted in surprise, and she almost laughed at her partner’s eagerness. But then Liara’s free hand slid up her body, and she found herself moaning, instead. Her hands grasped at the asari’s body, pressing at small of her back, pulling at her hips, desperate to be closer. 

Too many clothes. Too many layers between them. 

Liara broke away from their frantic kiss with a gasp. Shepard simply slid her lips along her jaw, and down the smooth blue skin of her throat. “Goddess, Kylie.” 

Shepard felt her heart racing, and liquid heat pooling between her legs. She tugged at the seals of the archeologist’s dress. “Want to see you. Touch you.” The Consort’s gift of knowledge burned in her mind, in her blood. There was so much she wanted to do, _needed_ to do. 

“Yes.” 

They broke apart, Liara’s trembling fingers working at her dress, while Shepard pulled her shirt up and off, followed by the skin-tight tactical undershirt. Her boots followed, but she froze, foot in the air, as Liara’s clothing dropped to the floor. The naked asari blushed under her stare, and Shepard felt another flush of heat. “Damn.” Liara stepped forward, her innate timidity clearly warring with the desire that burned in her eyes. She reached out, tucking her fingers into the waist of Shepard’s uniform pants, and undoing them. They fell to the floor. “Commander.” 

Shepard groaned. Liara’s voice had dropped a full octave, pronouncing her rank in a husky voice she’d never heard from the shy scientist, and sending a rush of wetness between her thighs. _God, if she can do that to me with just her voice…_

The thought vanished as the asari’s lips closed on hers again. Her hands came up to meet Liara’s breasts, fuller than her own. They felt heavy in her hands, the skin slightly textured, nipples hard. Shepard’s thumbs stroked in concert, making Liara’s breath hitch, and eliciting a sharp moan when she pinched one. Each stuttered breath, each little noise, shot straight to her core, and she smiled into their kiss, eager for more. She wanted Liara desperate, trembling beneath her… 

The thought, combined with the way the asari’s fingers slid up and down her back, was too much to take. Shepard grasped her by the thighs and lifted, dumping them both on the bed behind her. Liara yelped, laughed, then moaned as the commander worked her mouth down the column of her blue neck and lower, and sucked the hard point of one breast into her mouth. 

“I… Oh!” 

Shepard smiled and switched sides, while her hand delved into the deep blue between her legs. “You’re so wet…” 

“Shepard!” 

Liara arched as her fingers found their mark, swirling through the wetness of her slit, and along the swollen ridge of her clit, then pushing in deep. Liara’s hands pulled at the knot in her hair, fingers running through the red mass until it spilled over them both. Shepard built up a steady rhythm, fingers thrusting, thumb grazing her clit, while her mouth lavished attention on the asari’s breasts, until Liara trembled and squirmed beneath her. 

“Goddess, I need… Shepard… Please… Kylie!” 

Shepard was positive she was soaking through her own panties, but she felt desperate for Liara to come. She drew sharply on the hard peak of one nipple, before letting it go with a satisfying pop. Her fingers pumped harder as she worked her mouth back to her lover’s. “What do you need?” 

“Need… Embrace…” 

Shepard grinned, and relaxed her mind. 

“…Eternity!” 

Immediately, she was overwhelmed, her conscious mind dragged into the meld by the force of Liara’s need, need that instantly became her own. The outside world vanished, replaced by joined thoughts, and the dual sensations of both their bodies. The thrust of her fingers, the tangle of their tongues, pleasure echoed back in on itself and between them. She felt the fullness of her fingers in Liara’s channel as she spiraled closer to release, as if it were her own. 

Liara’s climax shuddered through them both, in a cascade of pleasure that brought her close to blacking out. 

_Holy fuck._

Liara laughed, tickling her mind through the meld. _Indeed._ She felt the asari’s lips drift across her face. _And we have only just begun._

Shepard grinned, as Liara rolled her over, pulling off her soaked underwear. 

Liara's touch flittered through her mind, just as her fingers slipped across Shepard's skin. _I believe it’s your turn, Commander._

 

Liara sighed happily, and opened her eyes. She was sad to realize that Shepard was no longer in the bed with her, but standing to the side, half dressed. “By the Goddess, Shepard…” 

The commander turned with a bright grin. “Fucking amazing.” 

Liara blushed. _A crude, but extremely accurate assessment._

“We should be almost to Ilos.” Shepard reached into the small closet next to her bed, and tossed a tactical uniform to her. “Here.” 

Liara looked at the clothes, identical to the ones her new lover was putting on, and smiled at the kind gesture. “My room is not far, Kylie.” 

Shepard’s grin brightened more, and she crossed the small space between them. “I know. I like the idea of you in my clothes. Plus, they work better under your armor.” The commander leaned in, putting a hand on either side of her, and kissed her. It was a soft, slow kiss, but it retained all the heat of their previous joinings. “I also like you saying my name.” 

_“Five minutes ETA to the Mu Relay.”_

Shepard sighed, and Liara could almost feel the weight of the galaxy settle back on her shoulders. “Back to reality.” 

She pushed back up, but Liara stopped her before she stepped away. “Kylie. Whatever happens…” 

Shepard’s hand cupped her face. “I know.” She pulled on her shirt and did up her boots, then kissed her quickly again. “I’ll meet you in cargo.” 

Liara watched her go with a sigh. _I know the mission comes first, but I wish…_ She shook her head. What she wished would have to wait. Stopping Saren and the Reapers was what mattered right now. Everything else could come later. 

She quickly dressed in the clothes Shepard had given her, smiling because they smelled like the commander. _Her_ commander. 

The thought gave her a grim determination.

_And I will help Shepard make sure there_ is _a later._


	10. Chapter 10

Liara clenched her teeth as another geth rocket shook the Mako, making it jump. Behind her, the rest of the team grumbled. 

“Driving in straight lines really shouldn’t be too much to ask. You’d think.” Tali sounded slightly motion sick, and Liara felt for her. 

Shepard growled from the driver seat. “If anyone else wants to drive…” 

A chorus of “NO!” from behind her made Liara laugh. _Definitely not._

Garrus groaned as the vehicle pitched again, this time as the main gun fired. “Whoever designed this thing should be shot. Repeatedly.” 

“And then fed to a thresher maw,” Wrex added. 

Ashley popped her head out of the gunner’s chamber. “Shepard, I can see the Conduit ahead, but there’s a whole troop of geth between here and there!” 

“I see it.” Shepard’s voice was full of determination. “Hold on, everyone. We’re out of time. I’m taking us straight through. Anyone who wants to pray, do it now.” 

_Goddess, protect us._ Liara closed her eyes as the tank lurched, but forced them open again. “We’re with you, Shepard.” 

The Mako raced forward, closing in on the Conduit. “Hang on!” 

The world turned into light, and sucked them into the void. 

 

“Fucking shit!” Shepard winced as she kicked out the emergency panel on the upside-down Mako. “Everyone okay?” 

One by one, her squad checked in, and followed her out of the tank. 

“That was a hell of a ride, Shepard.” 

Garrus gave the krogan a horrified look. “Only you would think that was fun, Wrex.” 

Shepard grinned at them both, then quickly shot the geth behind him. “Geth, people! Look alive!” 

The few geth went down fast. Around them, the Presidium burned. Shepard shook her head, then started for the elevator that led to the Council chambers. “Ash, you, Garrus, and Wrex take the right hand car. Tali, Liara, with me.” 

They split without a word, following her orders. Shepard fidgeted with impatience, wishing the elevator would go faster. _You’d think we could make faster elevators. Grav chutes, or something. ANYTHING would be better._

The elevator slammed to a halt. 

_Fucking hell._ “Saren must’ve locked the elevator. Helmets on, we’re going outside.” She glanced at her teammates, making sure their helmets were on, and shot out the elevator window. They jumped out, letting the station’s gravity reorient them, just as the other team shot out their elevator. 

_“We’ll take this side, Skipper, and meet you up top.”_

Shepard nodded. “Stay sharp, Ash.” Liara and Tali stepped up behind her. “Come on.” 

 

Too many geth. 

Liara tossed another singularity, and a warp at the geth aiming at Shepard. The commander, as usual, was lost to combat, trusting her shields and her team to catch what she couldn’t. She tore around the Citadel’s service areas in a blur of biotic light, ducking behind cover to fire her sniper at an enemy neither she nor Tali saw, and launched herself off again. 

It was a thing of beauty to watch. 

Liara tore herself away, lifting a trio of geth while Tali overloaded their systems. 

_“That’s the last of them. Come on, the Council chamber is this way.”_

They followed Shepard down an access corridor and turned a corner, stepping into the room where Saren had headed. A brief scuffle with more geth, and then Shepard was charging forward. “Saren!” 

Liara raced up the steps behind the commander, reaching the top in time to see the rogue Spectre hit one last key, and drop off the platform. 

“Fuck!” Shepard glanced around, then crept forward. “I don’t trust him, so watch—” 

The turian flew up, tossing a grenade. 

“Down!” 

They dove for cover just in time. 

“I was afraid you wouldn’t make it in time, Shepard.” 

Liara glanced at the commander as she peered out at Saren. “Had to wipe out a few hundred of your followers along the way. Sorry if I kept you waiting!” 

Saren chuckled. “You’ve lost. You know that, don’t you? In a few moments, Sovereign will have full control of all the Citadel’s systems. The relay will open. The Reapers will return.” 

“Not if I can help it!” 

Liara turned to Tali while Saren and Shepard bantered back and forth. “He is stalling, trying to gain Sovereign the time he needs.” 

“I know.” The quarian glanced out. “But what do we do about it?” 

Shepard came out of cover. “Some part of you must realize this is wrong. You can still fight it!” 

Tali looked at her. “What is Shepard doing?” 

Liara shook her head. 

But Saren hesitated. “Maybe you’re right…” He shook his head, then screamed. “The implants! Sovereign is too strong. It’s too late for me.” He raised his gun. “Goodbye, Shepard.” 

Liara lunged forward, but the turian pointed it at himself, pulling the trigger before any of them could stop him. 

Shepard’s head drooped for a moment. She shook it twice, then put her gun away and walked up to the controls, typing furiously. Tali joined her, while Liara unlocked the comms. 

“Hope you saved some bad guys for me, Shepard.” 

Liara glanced back as Wrex, Garrus, and Ash came up the stairs behind them. Shepard didn’t look up. “Nah, we killed them all. But you guys can go make sure Saren is dead. I don’t trust whatever upgrades Sovereign gave him.” 

Wrex laughed. “Smart. Where’s he at?” 

Shepard pointed at the garden below them. 

Liara nodded at them as they passed. “There are the comms. Incoming message from the Citadel fleet.” 

_“…the Destiny Ascension. Main drives offline. Kinetic barriers at forty percent. The Council is onboard. I repeat, the Council is onboard!”_

_“Normandy to the Citadel. Please tell me that’s you, Commander.”_

“Talk to me, Joker.” 

_“I’m in the Arcturus Sector with the fifth fleet. We can save the Ascension, just unlock the relay.”_

Shepard typed faster. “I’m unlocking them now. Save the Council.” 

“Shepard!” Tali looked up from her hacking, panic in her voice. “What about Sovereign?” 

“Just keep him out until they can get the Ascension safe. Losing the Council isn’t an option.” 

Tali shook her head. “I hope you know what you’re doing, Shepard.” 

Liara put a hand on the commander’s shoulder. She knew what a difficult call that had to be, endangering human ships to save a Council that barely tolerated them. Shepard glanced back and nodded, her green eyes grateful. 

It seemed like forever before Joker’s voice came back over the comm. _“Destiny Ascension, you are all clear.”_

“Got it!” Tali’s voice was triumphant as she looked up at them both. “Arms opening.” 

“Good job, Tali.” 

“This is Admiral Hackett. All ships move in, concentrate on Sovereign!” 

A shotgun blast came from below them. 

Liara walked to the edge of the platform, Shepard beside her. The commander raised an eyebrow, then shouted down. “We good down there?” 

_“Dead as a post, Skipper. Wrex was just making sure.”_

Liara looked at her. “That’s a relief.” 

“Yeah. I—” 

The chamber shook, red lightning forking everywhere, concentrating around the dead Spectre. 

_“I might’ve spoken too soon, Shepard!”_

An explosion from below threw the other team into the walls, and damaged the platform. “Shepard!” Liara reached for the commander, but neither of them could escape. Tali tumbled down after them. 

Saren’s body writhed and screamed, the flesh melting away into wires and tubes and glowing energy. 

_“I am Sovereign, and this station is mine.”_

A shotgun blast knocked the twisted husk down. “Like hell. Eat shotgun, you mechanical piece of shit!” Wrex fired again and again, keeping the husk off balance. 

Shepard followed. “Hit him with everything!” 

Liara threw him in stasis just as Shepard charged, and for several minutes, there was nothing but the fight. The Saren/Sovereign husk darted through the garden, blasting its laser, while they threw everything they could at him. 

Finally, Shepard charged it again, and the biotic blast knocked it across the room, where it disintegrated in a shock of red electricity. 

Shepard looked up at her with a tired grin. “You okay?” Liara nodded. “Check on Ash and Garrus, I’m going to find us a way out.” 

She found Ash first, just regaining consciousness. 

“Damn. What the hell?” 

Liara helped her up, after triggering her medi-gel. “Sovereign.” 

“Did we get him?” 

Liara nodded, and saw Tali helping Garrus up out of the corner of her eye. Then Joker’s voice came over the comm. 

_“Its shields are down. Now’s our chance!”_

_“Fifth fleet, hit it with everything we’ve got.”_

“Come on you two, I found a way up!” 

They turned to Shepard, and followed her up an access ladder, listening hard to the fleet’s comm chatter. 

_“Hard on my flank, I’m going in!”_

Liara and Ashley exchanged a worried look. 

Shepard tapped her comm. “Don’t you dare scratch my ship, Joker!” 

An explosion flashed outside, and was followed by cheers across the comms. She looked at Shepard, seeing relief flood her face, but then her expression froze. Liara followed her line of sight, her eyes widening at the huge piece of debris heading straight for the Council chamber—and them. 

“Go!”


	11. Chapter 11

Shepard woke to the sound of an alarm boring into her brain. 

“Fucking hell.” 

She could hear voices coming from somewhere, she just wasn’t sure where. For that matter, she wasn’t sure where exactly she was. 

_An explosion, followed by relief, then panic. Debris crashes through the window. Her team runs, but the pieces of Sovereign come too fast._

“Fuck.” 

Shepard pushed herself up, and swallowed a scream. _Okay, we’re not using that arm. Clearly something broken._ She’d managed to get knocked into some kind of relative safety, at least. Slowly, she pushed her way through the mess, wincing as the pain spread from her arm to her shoulder and chest. Fire, and fragmented remains surrounded her. The chamber was a wreck. 

“…ere’s Shepard?” 

_Anderson._ His voice gave her a direction, at least. She shoved at a loose panel in her way, then climbed over a pile of rubble, wincing at the pain that stabbed through her bad arm and side. The pile, at least, gave her a better vantage point. She could see people in C-Sec uniforms at the far end of the room, and Wrex. Navigating the mess, though… 

She scowled, and picked a target location. A biotic charge with her injuries would hurt, but… 

Shepard charged. 

Pain screamed through her body, and Shepard tasted blood where she’d bitten through her lip. 

_Fuckfuckfuck._

She picked a new target, and charged again. 

 

“Where’s Shepard?” 

Liara scanned the destruction of the room, as Ash shook her head sadly. Around her, C-Sec pulled the rest of the team out of the debris, some of them limping, but of the commander, there was no sign. 

_She has to be here._

A flash of blue from deep in the room made her strain for a better view. It came again, the blue blast of a biotic charge. “Captain Anderson!” 

She didn’t wait for acknowledgement, just ran forward. Shepard stumbled out of her charge, pain etched on her face, her left arm cradled tight to her body. Liara reached her just in time, catching the commander as she fell forward. 

“Liara…” 

“I have you, Shepard.” 

_And I’m never letting go._


	12. Chapter 12

_One month later…_

 

Shepard woke to the faint sound of the engines changing pitch, as the Normandy dropped out of FTL. Liara’s still-sleeping form weighed comfortably on her right side, arm wrapped over Shepard’s stomach. It made her smile, seeing her asari lover there. 

_So beautiful._

She closed her eyes again, trying to return to sleep, but the ache was back in her left side. Three broken ribs, arm broken in two places, and a dislocated shoulder. They were healed now, Dr. Chakwas had assured her, but the arm was the same one she’d broken on Akuze, and the phantom pain continued to plague her. 

Shepard sighed. The likelihood of getting back to sleep was slim, once it started bothering her. _May as well shower. Hot water should help._ Carefully, she pulled away from Liara, trying her best not to wake her. 

And failing, too. 

The asari buried her face in the pillow and opened one blue eye. “Can’t sleep?” 

Shepard shook her head and sat up. “Arm’s aching again.” 

Liara sat up, her brow furrowing. “Didn’t Dr. Chakwas give you something for that?” 

She scowled, and waved at a bottle of pills on the dresser. A full, unopened bottle. “Yeah.” 

“Why are you not taking them?” 

Shepard stretched her left arm, wincing. “I hate pills. Medi-gel’s one thing, but pain meds leave me foggy. I’d rather deal with the ache.” 

“Kylie…” 

“It’s fine.” Shepard leaned down and kissed her, lingering on her lips. “I’ll just go shower.” 

Liara shook her head, but smiled. “So stubborn.” 

She snorted. “Yeah. Which is why we’re all stuck out here hunting geth, instead of coming up with a plan to deal with the Reapers.” 

“Shepard—” 

She waved off whatever comment Liara was about to make, stopping just inside the bathroom door. “It’s fine. At least it’s something, right? And it gave me a chance to heal. Look, I’m going to clean up and then head to the CIC, see where Joker’s dropped us this time. You should go back to sleep.” 

Liara yawned, but pushed up out of the bed. “I think I will go find something to eat, actually. You left me with quite the appetite.” 

At that, Shepard finally grinned. The sex had only gotten better, and more adventurous, in the month since defeating Saren. She let her gaze slowly trail up and down Liara’s body, as the asari stood and stretched. “You wore me out, too.” 

“Then maybe I’ll get food for us both.” 

For a moment, Shepard considered dragging the scientist back into bed with her. “You could join me in here, you know.” 

Liara laughed. “Shepard, that shower is barely big enough for one person.” 

She sighed. “Sadly true.” 

Liara shrugged on her robe, a long, deep pink, silk, Asian-style affair that Shepard had bought for her on the Citadel. She left it open as she walked to where Shepard stood, letting it drag out behind her. Hands gently cupped her jaw, drawing her down for a slow kiss that set her heart racing and heat pooling straight to her groin. But just as she reached for the asari, Liara pulled back. “Go shower.” 

Shepard smiled, as her lover turned and walked away to dress. Liara glanced over her shoulder and made a shooing motion. 

She shook her head. _How the hell did I get so lucky?_

 

Shepard had just reached the top of the stairs when the ship shook, and the hull breach klaxon sounded. 

_Fucking hell!_

She ran for her locker, pulling out her armor and quickly putting it on. The _Normandy_ rocked again, and in the short time it took her to get in her armor, the ship had become a raging inferno. 

_Fuck, fuck, fuck._ She grabbed her helmet and hit the comm. “This is Commander Shepard. All crew to emergency evac shuttles. Repeat, all crew to evac.” She turned to the nearest duty station, pulling up the emergency action plans. The ship lurched, another chain of explosions going off behind her. She took a deep breath and locked her helmet in place. 

“Shepard!” 

She turned at the sound of Liara’s voice. _Thank God and Liara's Goddess, and anyone else who's listening._ “The distress beacon is ready for launch.” 

Liara was just locking her helmet. “Will the Alliance get here in time?” 

“They damn well better.” Another blast shook the _Normandy_ , throwing Liara into her. She steadied her, then reached for a fire extinguisher. “The Alliance won’t abandon us. We just need to hold on.” She sprayed down the fire in front of her, then turned and tossed the canister to Liara. “Get everyone onto the escape shuttles.” 

Liara turned, using the extinguisher on the electrical panel beside her. “Joker’s still in the cockpit. He won’t evacuate. I’m not leaving, either.” 

_Dammit._ She glanced at the raging fire between her and the cockpit, then turned back to Liara, pulling her away. “I need you to get the crew onto the evac shuttles.” I need you to be safe. She shoved the asari towards evac. “I’ll take care of Joker.” 

“Shepard…” 

She wanted to scream at her, tell her to get to safety, tell her she couldn’t lose her. But the calm of command had settled over her, and as she turned back to look at her lover, the only words that came out were, “Liara, go. Now.” 

Liara hesitated, then dropped her chin. “Aye, aye.” 

_Goddess, thank you. Keep her safe._

She watched her go, then turned, slamming her hand into the evac command, releasing the shuttles to their own controls. Then, with a sigh, she grabbed another extinguisher, and headed for the cockpit. 

The extinguisher turned out to be unnecessary. 

Another blast from their mysterious attacker sheered off half the hull between the back of the CIC and the cockpit, venting the fire into space. Shepard activated the gravlock on her boots, and shouldered her way through the debris. 

_Fuck, my arm hurts._

Inside the cockpit, Joker was frantically trying to save the ship. His hands flew over the controls in desperate movements. 

“Come on, Joker. We have to get out of here!” 

He shoved her hands away. “No! I won’t abandon the _Normandy_! I can still save her!” 

“Dammit, Joker! The _Normandy’s_ lost. Going down with the ship won’t change that.” 

The look of defeat that settled over his face made her want to cry. “Yeah. Okay. Help me up.” 

Shepard nodded. She knew exactly how he felt, but she also knew she was right. The Normandy was done for. She reached out for him, but as he stood, his eyes widened. 

“They’re coming around for another attack!” 

Bright white laser cut through the hull, disintegrating everything. _Shit!_ Shepard grabbed Joker, lifting him up by force. 

“Ow! Watch the arm!” 

_Sorry._ She dragged him out, pulling him along to the nearest evac pod. Shepard staggered as the ship fell apart around them, but managed to hit the lock for the door. She stumbled, losing her grip on him as their ruined ship took another hit. Joker landed in the pod. 

Shepard wasn’t so lucky. 

A chunk of the hull knocked into her, throwing her away from the evac pod, just as the white laser cut through where she’d been. 

_God, that was cl—_

The deck fell apart below her. She scrabbled for the wall, but she was too far away to get a grip. The only thing she could do was hit the release for the pod. The doors on Joker’s evac slammed shut on his strangled cry of, “Shepard!” 

The pod launched. 

Another explosion threw her in the opposite direction. She crashed into debris, ricocheting off chunks of her ship as the _Normandy_ exploded around her. 

And then there was nothing but wreckage, and space. 

_Well, fuck._

Her ship burned in front of her. Her body ached, from being slammed through the rubble. She turned, looking around to see if she could spot any of the evac shuttles, as the remaining bits of her destroyed spacecraft drifted past her in silence. 

Except it wasn’t silence. 

Her eyes widened as red warning diagrams flashed across her HUD, and she realized what the hissing sound was. 

She was venting oxygen. 

Frantic, Shepard reached around, grasping for the damaged hose. 

_Fuck, fuck, fuck!_

No good. She couldn’t reach it. And then her HUD gave her more bad news. She’d been ejected into the planet’s gravity well. 

_Oh God._

She stared at the space around her. _This isn’t how it was supposed to go._

Shepard raged. 

She screamed, fought, twisted. 

But she didn’t cry. The planet drew her closer and closer as it got harder to breathe, until each breath felt emptier than the last. And as the blackness swallowed her, and there was nothing left to fight, she allowed herself one last voiceless, breathless shout. 

_“Liara!”_


End file.
